tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75475336456611711022024-03-08T13:37:39.125-08:00humorplus.blogspot.comCollection of all kinds of jokes, quotes, silly puns, pranks, humor, celebrity and lots more sexy and funny stuffSsearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-71070115631618306342011-02-03T17:08:00.001-08:002011-02-03T17:08:57.588-08:00Shoot twiceIn the early days of World War One the German Kaiser was talking to the head of Swiss army.<br />
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"You have an army of only 500,000 men.What would you do if attacked by an army of one million men?" asked the Kaiser.<br />
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"Each one of our soldiers would simply shoot twice," said the Swiss army commander.<br />
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(Wow..)Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-37444288610807778772011-02-03T14:56:00.001-08:002011-02-03T14:56:55.534-08:00At a casinoAt a Las Vegas casino,a blackjack dealer and a player with a 13 count in his hand are arguing about whether or not it is appropriate to tip the dealer.The player says,"When I get bad cards,it's not the dealer's fault.Accordingly,when I get good cards,the dealer obviously has nothing to do with that either,so why should I tip him?"<br />
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The dealer replies,"When you eat at a restaurant do you tip the waiter?"<br />
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"Yes," the gambler concedes.<br />
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"Well then he serves you food: whether it's good or bad isn't up to him. By the same token,I'm serving you cards,so you should tip me."<br />
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"OK," says the gambler,"but the waiter gives me what I ask for.I'll take an 8."<br />
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(W o w ..)Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-27280300416843258872011-02-03T13:25:00.000-08:002011-02-03T13:25:00.375-08:00A girl and her old ladyAn attractive young girl,chaperoned by an ugly old lady,entered the doctor's office.<br />
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"We have come for an examination." said the young girl.<br />
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"All right." said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."<br />
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"No, not me." said the girl. "It's my aunt here."<br />
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"Very well." said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."<br />
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( Ha ha ha..)Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-75767174561184098742009-11-15T19:57:00.000-08:002009-11-15T19:57:17.756-08:00VIPWhile the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. <br />
So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.<br />
They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them.<br />
As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it. <br />
The chief asked: <br />
"Who is in the limo, the governor?" <br />
The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the governor." <br />
Then the chief asked <br />
"Is it the President?" <br />
The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President."<br />
This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: "Now who is more important than the President?!" <br />
The policeman calmly whispered: "I don't know who is this guy, but he has the pope as his chauffeur."<br />
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(..Very Funny~)Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-65793693591376395752009-11-12T23:29:00.001-08:002009-11-12T23:33:03.158-08:00Man and WomanA woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. <br />
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does..Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-59325292931508448492009-09-04T23:11:00.000-07:002009-09-04T23:11:31.443-07:00Good lawerTwo lawyers entered a diner and ordered two glasses of beer.<br />
Then they took out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.<br />
The owner, incensed at what the two men were doing, marched over and told them, <br />
"You can't eat your own sandwiches here!"<br />
The two lawyers looked at each other, <br />
..shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches. <br />
Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-69018472230380630632009-08-20T03:20:00.001-07:002009-08-20T03:20:57.591-07:00His wifeTwo men were talking in the pub about their forthcoming holidays.<br /><br />"I'm taking my wife on an African safari," said the first man.<br />His friend asked, "Isn't that a bit dangerous? What would you do if a ferocious lion attacked her?"<br /><br />"Nothing!" replied the first man.<br />"What, you wouldn't do anything?" "No," said the first man.<br />"Let the stupid lion fend for itself!"Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-62577159941033613832009-07-22T13:53:00.001-07:002009-07-22T13:55:58.643-07:00Good-looking<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/Smd8ycd8OiI/AAAAAAAAAKY/Y8A5Ji4ht5g/s1600-h/gua001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361391087484942882" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 274px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 337px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/Smd8ycd8OiI/AAAAAAAAAKY/Y8A5Ji4ht5g/s400/gua001.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-5531457802493061672009-07-18T06:42:00.001-07:002009-07-18T06:50:30.067-07:00Beautiful..<div align="center">So cute...</div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/SmHTB_ATlmI/AAAAAAAAAKQ/8jddUV1d1tk/s1600-h/b001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359797062593648226" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 321px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/SmHTB_ATlmI/AAAAAAAAAKQ/8jddUV1d1tk/s400/b001.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p></p>Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-20870993355580436032009-07-05T17:38:00.000-07:002009-07-05T17:40:34.625-07:00Cute<div align="center">She's lovely..</div><div align="center"> </div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/SlFH4VfSkvI/AAAAAAAAAJ8/qYlZ4LqOqYc/s1600-h/psy001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355140465086862066" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/SlFH4VfSkvI/AAAAAAAAAJ8/qYlZ4LqOqYc/s400/psy001.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"></div>Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-59730427760727743292009-07-02T22:28:00.001-07:002009-07-02T22:30:53.969-07:00She's cute..<div align="center">The most beautiful actress of KOREA...</div><div align="center"> </div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/Sk2XJe8J9lI/AAAAAAAAAJs/t4bPecMmtQ0/s1600-h/khs001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354101721193379410" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 383px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/Sk2XJe8J9lI/AAAAAAAAAJs/t4bPecMmtQ0/s400/khs001.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-25159581235039445132009-07-01T16:50:00.001-07:002009-07-01T16:51:44.914-07:00Hong, SuAh<div align="center">Beautiful Entertainer..</div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/Skv2cB8eiBI/AAAAAAAAAJk/18TgfI3vT9c/s1600-h/hsa001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353643543478831122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 360px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/Skv2cB8eiBI/AAAAAAAAAJk/18TgfI3vT9c/s400/hsa001.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-66884912969056885752009-06-30T18:21:00.000-07:002009-06-30T18:22:58.177-07:00Pretty, good-looking..<div align="center">And attractive...</div><div align="center"> </div><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/Skq6Q00ZJwI/AAAAAAAAAJc/6JrUrd2HeXc/s1600-h/0731225132418.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353295905302324994" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 265px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/Skq6Q00ZJwI/AAAAAAAAAJc/6JrUrd2HeXc/s400/0731225132418.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-14014077529768764532009-06-29T17:43:00.001-07:002009-06-29T17:51:24.714-07:00Beautiful smile<div align="center">Very attractive celebrity..</div><div align="center"></div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/Sklf06NTKHI/AAAAAAAAAJU/UOCcah__Gro/s1600-h/b001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352914994689419378" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 357px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/Sklf06NTKHI/AAAAAAAAAJU/UOCcah__Gro/s400/b001.jpg" border="0" /></a>Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-66211132867587512412009-06-29T17:24:00.001-07:002009-06-29T17:52:06.374-07:00Her smile<div align="center">Fantastic smile..</div><div align="center"></div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/SklbW154BJI/AAAAAAAAAJM/zfAunzVHEoE/s1600-h/comm_photo_43947.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352910080091620498" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/SklbW154BJI/AAAAAAAAAJM/zfAunzVHEoE/s400/comm_photo_43947.jpg" border="0" /></a>Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-8451146205038995692009-06-29T17:16:00.000-07:002009-06-29T17:52:23.827-07:00She's so beautiful<div align="center">Pretty girl..</div><div align="center"></div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/SklZrwcnXkI/AAAAAAAAAJE/VLL5WvfctkE/s1600-h/1237386668___123639434586858.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352908240380714562" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_odIXbgJYpgM/SklZrwcnXkI/AAAAAAAAAJE/VLL5WvfctkE/s400/1237386668___123639434586858.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"></div>Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-91137417189300823922009-06-29T04:44:00.000-07:002009-06-29T04:45:20.442-07:00Guess whoA young pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.<br />This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime.<br />Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?"<br />The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where?"Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-81700067100487207572009-04-18T20:06:00.000-07:002009-04-18T20:07:07.126-07:00Apple pieA wife woke her husband up one night and whispered urgently,<br />"Honey, I was awakened by noises downstairs. I went down and found a burglar in the kitchen eating my apple pie!"<br />"Are you sure he is eating your pie?"<br />"I'm positive!" "In that case" said the man sleepily,<br />"should I call the police or an ambulance?"Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-3641052111159956222009-04-15T15:27:00.000-07:002009-04-15T15:28:08.493-07:00A pollWe recently conducted a poll as to whether men prefer women with large thighs or women with thin thighs.The results were pretty surprising.<br />10 percent of those men surveyed preferred women with large thighs. 10 percent of the men preferred women with thin thighs.<br />Now what about the other 80 percent of the respondents? They preferred what's in between them.Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-69934186574144863282009-04-14T02:29:00.000-07:002009-04-14T02:31:02.606-07:00An elderly coupleAn elderly couple is getting ready for bed.<br />She says, "Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house."<br />He says, "I'll go get some."<br />She says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry."<br />She adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget."<br />He says, "I won't forget; Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry!"<br />Away he goes.<br />Hours later he comes back and hands her a paper bag.<br />"In it is a "HAM SANDWICH".<br />She says," I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-52453378754027341412009-04-01T01:35:00.001-07:002009-04-01T01:35:56.414-07:00Man and womanA woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.<br />A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.<br />A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.<br />A successful woman is one who can find such a man.<br /><br />Wow..Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-15923149523476506512009-03-25T06:41:00.000-07:002009-03-25T06:42:51.683-07:00Good kidsLittle Johnny runs into his house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"<br /><br />"No," says his mom, "Of course not."<br />After Little Johnny runs back outside, his mom hears him yell to his friend,<br />"It's OK, we can keep playing!"Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-79245954633859707312009-03-14T00:42:00.000-07:002009-03-14T00:43:21.546-07:00Second opinionA Doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.<br />The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, "You aren't so good in bed either!" and stormed off to work.<br />By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home.<br />After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone.<br />"What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"<br />"I was in bed."<br />"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"<br />"I was getting a second opinion."Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-55848318568025414772009-03-06T18:14:00.000-08:002009-03-06T18:16:35.816-08:00Clever dogA wife says to her husband one weekend morning, <br />"We've got such a clever dog. <br />He brings in the daily newspapers every morning"<br />Her husband replied.. <br />"Well, lots of dogs can do that"<br />The wife responded, <br />"But we've never subscribed to any papers!"Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7547533645661171102.post-3721028447780201842009-03-05T03:33:00.000-08:002009-03-05T03:34:38.960-08:00Good girlAfter the dance, young Charles asked the young girl<br />..if he could see her home? <br />so,<br />she showed him a picture of it.Ssearchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11038883764338252188noreply@blogger.com0